KUKUDIO, Maureen

Maureen Kukudio (portrayed by Emily Althaus) is a socially-awkward new inmate processed into Litchfield Penitentiary after its privatization by the MCC. We are first introduced to her in Berdie Rogers‘ drama class. She comes to the foreground of the season three plot when she takes a special interest in Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren.

After reading the Time Hump Chronicles, Maureen approaches her about her writing process in the cafeteria and again later in the prison yard with a poem that is both a romantic proposition and a method to help Suzanne deal with her writers’ block, which confuses her love interest. Before running off in embarrassment, however, Maureen says that she feels “polymorphously perverse,” and if Suzanne feels that way, too, they should consider trying “things” out. Considering the fact that Suzanne once expressed her feelings for Piper Chapman through poetry, it seems as the two are kindred spirits.

Suzanne Maureen 2

They agree to meet in the broom closet one night; however, Maureen watches as Suzanne’s shadow approaches the door and then retreats from it at the last moment. Hurt from this rejection, Maureen sheepishly avoids Suzanne until they are all swimming in the lake and Suzanne presents her with the snapping turtle that attacked her. Hurling the creature back into the lake, the two laugh and make amends, which suggests that the two will bond.

At the start of season 4, she and Suzanne make their way into the woods to run away together. However, when Suzanne hears the guards gathering all inmates back into the cafeteria, she suggests that they need to follow the rules to avoid trouble; however, Maureen manages to convince her to abandon the rules and run away with her.

They walk further into the woods and discover the old on-campus housing for guards, which Maureen declares is perfect for them to live together in. However, the more Maureen talks about their life, the more it sounds like a fantasy to Suzanne, and the more she fears for her life and well-being. She runs off into the woods to avoid trouble. She remains there, alone, until Caputo and C.O. Bayley discover her hiding in the house, but she goes unpunished.

She avoids Suzanne for the greater part of the season and is only able to exact her revenge on Suzanne when she reconsiders getting intimate with her. Just before Suzanne climaxes, though, she stops and says, “Now you know what it feels like to be abandoned in the woods” and leaves. Her anger doesn’t stop there, however. When C.O. Humphrey is trying to coax Kasey Sankey to fight Suzanne while they’re waiting to be interrogated, Maureen steps up to fight Suzanne. She begins to hit her and yell at her for “not know[ing] how people work.” Suzanne stands there, dumbfounded, until she says that “[she’ll] always be the person that everybody laughs at,” which triggers her to beat Maureen unconscious.

Taken to medical, we don’t see her for the remainder of the season. It’s hard to tell whether or not the two will be able to make amends in season 5, but we do know that the two will be reunited either in medical or in Psych.